Posted by: Kaiaroon | September 15, 2009

Zombies and Ex-Wives

Last night I attended a leader training session for scouting. There were three of us — the trainer, myself, and another new leader.

I was tired after a long day of work, and my stomach was bothering me, and I really just wanted to check this off my list of things to do and then go home.  But as always happens, at the end, the obligatory small talk ensued.

The other leader started talking about how she and her husband became the primary caretakers for his two children from his first marriage. And she mentioned that the son had sleep problems because his mother never kept the kid on a schedule. On principle, I cringe whenever the new wife puts down the old wife. Especially when the new wife has been doing the work for 6 months or so, and not the lifetime of the child.

I almost spoke up and said, “Hey, we use melatonin to help the kids sleep” but I was keeping quiet to wind the evening down. It was a good thing, since she then launched into a litany of all the things the mother had done wrong, including “doping” the son with ADHD medication and “those sleeping pills — Melatonin”!! They had to actually go through a “detox process” to get these medications of his system! He was a zombie when they got him!

I don’t know what ADHD medication the kid was on, but the kind Movie Boy takes (Vyvanse) is out of his system within 24 hours. It does not stay in his system, although I know there are some that do. ADHD medication helps many, many children and I’m really over the whole zombie hysteria.

As for Melatonin? This is a natural substance already found in your body. It is not a medication but a supplement. It does not require detoxification. For us, it was recommended by our Pediatrician and has had positive effects and no notable negative effects. For the record we get this highly controlled addictive substance at Trader Joe’s. In a chewable mint tablet. Very careful regulation on this concerning medication, don’t you think?

Now, she is entitled to her opinions, really. But I always wonder about people like this who will launch into their litanies when they are completely unaware of the people they are talking to. For instance, my kid is on ADHD medication and melatonin.

My neighbor has a similar tale. He “took custody” of his daughter after he found out that the ex-wife had gotten the daughter an IEP. He transferred her to our neighborhood high school where the first thing he proudly did was close out that IEP.

Seriously? In my experience, you don’t get an IEP just because you say “please”. You get one after a long and grueling assessment problem that not only identified an issue, but identifies it as being significant enough to meet the guidelines. It is not a gimme. To arbitrarily dismiss this just because you want you ex-wife to be “wrong” is just bad parenting.

Okay, and now I’m off my rant 😉



  1. I know college students with IEPs. Sometimes they just don’t go away, and for good reason.

  2. I just happened upon your blog and I love it. I related to SO many of your posts. I also have a son with an IEP and went through hell and back just to get it. It literally took me 4 years to get it and I advocated my butt off for every one of them. This kid would have just fallen through the cracks without his IEP. I could write a million posts about my sons journey before and after IEP however, he would probably come and kill me in my sleep so I just blog funny fluff. But, I sure do love your guts and for those of us in a similar prediciment, reading your blog is a great release somehow. Thanks!



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